My body continues to weaken, and I have every reason to believe that my best and happiest days are behind me. I’m so young. I hate it.
Yes, fuck cynicism[1]. With a rusty spike bearing Clostridium tetani, smothered in toxic waste and radioactive compounds.
This might be my last blog post ever. I feel like I don't have long left on Earth. And if I had one message I'd want to leave to the world, it would be this one.
Cynicism about the future is part of why the world is in the shape it is in today. Cynicism is what leads people to reflexively cede their power to oligarchy, or religious bodies, or whatever outside social forces you care to name, without questioning it or realizing that they have made a choice. “There's nothing I can do, so I may as well do whatever Johnny down the street is doing.” And if you live under capitalism, Johnny is mindlessly consuming while paying no attention to the fact that he is enriching the very people who are burning the world. And at least here in the US, there is a one in three chance that Johnny didn’t even bother to vote.
While cynicism has this chic veneer of counterculture “cool” unorthodoxy, it is the ultimate in conformism, sapping us of our inner strength by denying our free will. It is the handmaiden of surrender. No wonder corporate media has been pushing it for decades. News and advertising are its breeding grounds.
Sometimes, ceding one’s power to outside social forces is a reasonable thing to do. Or at least a rational thing to do. But it should be done mindfully. You usually have choices, whether or not you like any of the options.
What is unacceptable is just silently acquiescing to the status quo in a spirit of “I'm so helpless” cynicism. Things keep getting worse and worse, cynicism grows, and there are fewer and fewer options. It’s a vicious cycle. You can perhaps help break that cycle by believing in the future and making choices with care.
I’ll end with a quote from the song Something for Nothing by the band Rush. It’s from one of my favorite albums of all time, 2112. If you haven’t heard the album, I highly recommend it. The first track, 2112, is about a society where everyone has surrendered their power to computers and the minders of said computers. Sound familiar? Elon Musk and the rest of the tech oligarchs want to take us there, with their LLMs and their Neuralink and such. Something for Nothing is the last track on the album, and it is an excellent complement to the first.
What you own is your own kingdom,
What you do is your own glory
What you love is your own power,
What you live is your own story.
In your head is the answer,
Let it guide you along
Let your heart be the anchor,
And the beat of your song.
You don't get something for nothing,
You can't have freedom for free.
[1] No, I’m not talking about the Greek philosophical school. That was non-conformist and all about living outside of the system, not surrendering to it. What I mean is cynicism in the contemporary sense, somewhat tinged with apathy.
[2] The bacterium that causes tetanus.
I’ve appreciated this poem by Rumi (A.K.A. Rumi Jalal ad'Din) since the first time I read it, at least 10 or 20 years ago.
I died as a mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal,
I died as animal and I was Man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?
Yet once more I shall die as Man, to soar
With angels blest; but even from angelhood
I must pass on: all except God doth perish.
When I have sacrificed my angel-soul,
I shall become what no mind e’er conceived.
Oh, let me not exist! for Non-existence
Proclaims in organ tones, ‘To Him we shall return.’
I’ve always had a sneaky little suspicion that reincarnation is a true belief. As a very small child, perhaps four years old or younger, I had very vivid memories which seemed to be scenes from past lives. I don’t wish to discuss them with anyone. Needless to say, they faded over the next seven or eight years. I don’t have any particular theology propping up my beliefs, other than a strong hunch that there’s something to the idea of past and future lives.
But let’s unpack this Rumi poem a bit. Regardless of whether or not you believe in the literal reincarnation of the soul into a new physical body, you’d agree with me that matter and energy are never created or destroyed; they only change form. At some point in the soon-after 1, the entity known as Chris Brannon is going to fully cease to exist in anything resembling their current form. That’s a very pretentious way of saying that I’m fixin’ to kick the bucket, to fly the coop, to buy the farm, to take the final curtain call, to shuffle off this mortal coil. When that happens, all that was Chris Brannon will go back to nature and the rest of the cosmos. That’s just Newtonian physics that I learned in high school. Apparently there are theorems in quantum physics stating that information can never be lost. It seems to me that the soul is essentially information. Perhaps we have an eternal one after all? I don’t know as much about this stuff – specifically quantum physics and its implications or possibilities – as I’d like to know.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Hamlet, Act I, Scene V
Rumi and I go down separate paths once he starts writing of “to soar with angels blest”, but even then, I won’t fully discount that notion either.
The one thing of which I am certain is that my component pieces, possibly including an eternal soul, will return to the cycle of nature to be reused to form some new and hopefully beautiful thing. I find this thought incredibly consoling. As Rumi said, “Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?”
Are there some parts of this whole process which scare or sadden me? Sure. I’m scared of pain. I’m sad that I’ll be leaving people I love and friends I’ve made. I’m more sad for the people I leave behind than I am for myself. Then again, if we do have an eternal soul on some quantum informational level, maybe we’ll all meet up to compare notes eventually. I’m disappointed that I probably won’t meet new lovers and make many new friends during what remains of this incarnation. I’m sure that there is music I’ll wish I had heard. I have more sadness and regret than fear.
I can’t answer the question “how soon is soon?” Probably six months or less. Hopefully much longer. But I can feel myself fading. I can feel my heart becoming weaker.↩︎︎
For the people out there who don’t have a funny bone, this is satire. But I’d argue that satire is at its most ekscellent when it is grounded in some truth. The truth is that English orthography is an absolute disaster and Elon Musk is an objectively terrible person.
With Elon Musk making the Nazi salute to Trump and Trump’s crowd, I think it’s a mighty fine time to improve English orthography. Eliminate the letter “x”. It is utterly useless, and all of its uses can be replaced with either the cluster “eks”, “ks”, or the letter “z”. I.E., after removing x from the English language, the name Xerxes would be spelled Zerkses. Boxing Day would be Boksing Day, and X-ray would be Eks-ray.
Of course, now we have a little problem. The letter x is frequently used in mathematical equations. I’d suggest replacing it with χ, but that one is already used in statistics, so maybe it would cause some confusion. I wonder if צ would work? Someone with a better grasp of knowledge in the fields of mathematics and linguistics might suggest something better.
Another sticky problem: X-rated films. It’s funny that this took so long to occur to me, since I’m one of these people who regularly has seks on the brain. Maybe the prudes at the MPAA or whoever operates these rating systems could use M for mature? Or F for … fucking. Yeah I like that one better. Rated F for fucking! Rated LOF for Lots of Fucking!
You remember how Prince changed his name to that symbol, and everyone called him “the artist formerly known as Prince”? Because they couldn’t pronounce the symbol. If we can eliminate the letter X from the English language, everyone might start doing as I do and referring to Musk’s social media company as “the company formerly known as Twitter.” Musk named one of his kids X (seems to be his favorite spawn, too), so with X disappeared from the language, it would henceforth be appropriate to refer to the kid as “Symbol-boy Musk”.
All of this seems like a lot of work to troll one overgrown manchild , but it would be funny, and it would eliminate a nearly-useless consonant. A few years ago, I would have told you that q was the most useless consonant, but now I’m saying x.
This episode of Chris’s blog has been brought to you by every letter in the motherfucking alphabet that isn’t x.
Remember how I told you about Brain Tumor Boy in my article about medical testing? Reason 666 Why US Health Care Is So Fucked: The Testing Obsession!, if you need a refresher. Why I find that whole thing as funny as I do is that I suspect that if you look at my chart and a Physician’s Desk Reference, you can easily conclude why my blood pressure is abnormally low.
The med side effects and symptoms of end-stage heart failure and HF REF are things I’ve validated from multiple legitimate online sources.
“Chris, you’re cool, go the fuck home, because you and I both know you don’t belong in the ER. You might need a change to your drug prescriptions. Perhaps you’ve reached end-stage heart failure. I’m not your cardiologist, and despite the fact that your cardiologist told you that you needed to come here, he’s actually the guy who needs to be talking to you right now, not me.”
Human nature seems to run on this principle that it is always better to do something about a problem, rather than nothing. It happens in medicine too, because medicine is practiced by humans. So we get guys who want to test patients with abnormally low BP for brain tumors, even though all the evidence that is staring us in the face says: “This poor motherfucker probably just hit end-stage heart failure, and perhaps he needs a change to his medications.”
Sometimes, inaction might be better than action. And my gut tells me this is true far more often than we might think.
Here’s Alan Watts quoting Robert Oppenheimer:[1]
You know, it’s like Oppenheimer said: it’s perfectly obvious that the whole world is going to hell, and the only possible way we might stop that happening is not to try to prevent it.
[1] (https://www.organism.earth/library/document/do-you-do-it)
There are dumb patients squealing about how they need antibiotics for their viral infections, even though antibiotics don’t do jack shit for viral infections. That’s like high school biology type stuff. And some doctors – hopefully fewer and fewer these days – have been known to comply to keep their patients happy. They’re doing something, yippity doo-dah! And little Johnny’s mommy is happy because they’re “treating” his flu, yay! I’ve forgotten a lot of what I learned in high school biology – and in college biology 101 for that mattter – even though I was top of the class in college under my university’s most difficult professor. But I remembered that antibiotics are ineffective against viruses, because that was a biology lesson directly applicable to humans in daily life. And now, overuse has increased the problem of antibiotic resistance, just like I knew it would when I was six-fucking-teen years old. Though arguably, factory farming of animals and misuse of antibiotics has done far far more harm here than the doctors who want to make little Johnny’s mommy shut up and go the fuck away. Maybe a bird flu pandemic and more strains of antibiotic resistant bacteria will make the planet finally go vegan?
And then sometimes action is better than inaction. Apparently they’re looking into stem cell research to treat the heart, and they’re even doing clinical trials. I’m a gamblin’ man with nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain; I’d sign up for that, if they think I’d be a promising candidate.
2024 was a Landslide…for "Did Not Vote" | Environmental Voter Project
Quoting from the linked site:
Using data from the University of Florida Election Lab, a new analysis by the Environmental Voter Project shows that 85.9 million eligible voters skipped the 2024 general election, far surpassing the 76.8 million ballots cast for Donald Trump or the 74.3 million for Kamala Harris.
If "Did Not Vote" had been a presidential candidate, they would have beaten Donald Trump by 9.1 million votes, and they would have won 21 states, earning 265 electoral college votes to Trump's 175 and Harris's 98.
As in most US elections, the real swing voters in 2024 were those deciding between voting or not voting…and they overwhelmingly chose to stay home on Election Day.
So why is that a thing?
Here are the reasons listed on that page for why more than 85 million [1] people sat out the election.
Those numbers don't add up to 100%, obviously, because some people had multiple major reasons for not voting. I think it would surprise some people that apathy toward the outcome is close to the bottom on that list.
The top reasons for not voting were that people feel that their vote would not make a difference, and that the non-voters disliked politics. Furthermore, I'd argue both are legitimate problems with the status quo, and that they should be fixed. I don't know how to fix them.
This is about a feeling and a perception and a de facto thing, because most of the people who feel the way I describe do have the right to vote. They feel effectively disenfranchised on account of geography.
I used to live in a deeply Republican state, Oklahoma. I didn't vote in the first few elections I was eligible for, due to the apathy of youth. I voted for John Kerry in 2004, though, because I felt that George W. Bush and his administration were an active threat to democracy in the US and any chance at global peace. A pretty good summation of my thinking was: "Who's this motherfucker going to invade next, and what civil liberties will he go after next?" So I voted for Kerry, and I was proud of it. Did my vote make a single bit of difference? No. Not even my down-ballot votes made a difference. All of the candidates I voted on and the state questions I voted on lost.
Now I live in a Democratic state, though most of that is due to the people in our larger cities. I voted for Harris in 2024, and I was proud of that too. Again, my vote for Harris made about as much difference as my vote for Kerry made in 2004, except that my down-ballot votes did make a difference. If I'm still alive for the 2026 midterms – a dubious proposition at best – I'll be voting in those. Down-ballot races are important. And down-ballot races are the ones in which your vote has a greater chance of counting. For instance, my congressional district was predicted to go Republican. It didn't, because it's not a solid block for either party.
But how do you overcome the disenfranchisement felt by people who live in districts or states where everyone else tends to vote overwhelmingly opposite from the way you vote?
Some of this problem is being handled by the "big sort", where people are moving to areas with like-minded people. It's what I did.
Unfortunately, people will continue to feel disenfranchised by presidential elections, because they are not decided by national popular vote, as they should be.
Unfortunately, politics ends up being a long drawn-out media circus which only appeals to political junkies, big donors, and special interests. In 2027, right after the 2026 mid-terms, presidential candidates will be declaring their candidacy for an election in November of 2028. Just to give you an example here, the first time Kamala Harris ran for President, she declared her candidacy on January 21, 2019, more than one year and nine months prior to the general election. She withdrew her candidacy on December 3, 2019 [2]. Trump declared his first candidacy sometime in 2015, but I can't be bothered to look up an exact date for you. By the time you get from announcement of candidacy to general election day, people are going to be burned out with the whole process.
This nonsense may have worked in the era of the horse and buggy and the telegraph. But now we have a barrage of 24-hour coverage, not to mention social media. Let's not forget Citizens United. We need much shorter election cycles.
Only because it was artificially short, and only artificially short for one person. It would have been fair if both candidacies had lasted a few months.
It would be easier to do things like coalition building if we had more than two parties here in the US.
I remember Bernie Sanders catching a lot of flak a few years ago for suggesting that Socialists, Democratic Socialists, or whatever, can and should build coalitions with people who share some but not all of our values. In the case in question, he was talking about a candidate who held strongly economically left views but was anti-abortion. And all the liberals on reddit were like "Oh nooo." I'm strongly pro-choice. If I was in Congress, would I be willing to work together with someone who held this totally opposite cultural view from me, in order to promote something like Medicare for All? Hell yes I would. We can have the abortion fight another day, but today, we're fighting together to give us Medicare for All.
When you've got just two parties, you see the hyper-polarization that we have in the US right now. People pick one or the other, often on account of some wedge issue, and they feel like they are forced to choose a side.
In a sane political system, people would fall all over the place. You'd have economic left, cultural left, economic center, cultural center, economic right, and cultural right. And the two centers are kinda big and squishy. I'd call myself hard-left economically, but definitely in the squishy middle culturally (though on the left edge).
I don't know much about parliamentary systems, so maybe somebody who lives under one can help educate me, but if I understand correctly, they tend to have more than two parties typically more than three, and different parties tend to act in coalition. I could see this leading to less of the hyper-partisan-induced gridlock that we have here in the US.
Maybe we need a parliamentary system in the US. I should read more before shooting off my mouth here. But at the very least, I think having a strong mix of parties would help with both the feeling of disenfranchisement and the distaste for politics.
That's not happening without a drastic change or rewrite of the US Constitution. We'll need a Constitutional Convention for that, and maybe the only way we'll get it is via a crisis.
[1] I've seen counts of non-voting eligible ranging from 85.9 million to 92 million. I think it's about 88 million.
[2] Dates taken from Wikipedia.
Almost fifteen years ago now, I read a post-apocalyptic novel The Postman by David Brin. It was about post-collapse society in the US, after a string of events took out the US around the turn of the millennium. What struck me as odd and implausible at the time was the way in which the collapse occurred, but given what I know now, this book sounds eerily prescient.
The collapse started with nuclear and biological attacks. The country was in the process of recovering from those. But humanitarian efforts were being thwarted and government relief workers were being murdered by a party of hyper-survivalists that formed around the writings of a guy named Nathan Holn. I think you could basically boil Holn’s philosophy down to hyper-masculinity plus might makes right.
The whole thing seemed implausible to me, because I’d lived through the Oklahoma City bombing, September 11th, the hurricanes Katrina and Rita, and so forth. In all of these events, the country was more-or-less unified after the disaster. No fuckin’ way is any of this scenario going to happen. The American people come together after these things; they don’t kill relief workers.
Fast forward to late 2024. One day, I woke up to a news story about hurricane aid workers being harassed by – you guessed it – survivalist militias. Here are a few example articles from the time.
And now, in early 2025, we have Trump wanting to eliminate FEMA completely: Trump proposes “getting rid of FEMA” while touring disaster areas | AP News.
In The Postman, the catalyst was nuclear and biological attacks. While those are still plausible threats, a more likely scenario for our time would be natural disasters brought on by climate change. But any of those scenarios is just a catalyst. The collapse in the book happened because people with a certain philosophical outlook actively sabotaged relief efforts.
What seemed far-fetched to me in 2011 now seems at least possible, though hopefully not probable.
There were a few episodes of the original Star Trek where the Enterprise would find some planet full of village idiots worshiping an artificial intelligence as God. The ones that come to mind are:
I always found the first two of them kind of implausible. And being an incurable romantic, the third was just sad, because McCoy finds and loses love. But at least the premise of “The World Is Hollow” actually made a bunch of sense. The AI in charge was maintaining a static society in order to protect a large group of people who were making a millennia-long space voyage at sublight speed. It was ready to rebuild an advanced society once it arrived at its destination. And ya know, you gotta keep people from too much incesting and stuff. But the first two? Those planets were just full of bumpkins who got gaslit by computers thousands of years ago, and they seemed so implausible.
Or at least, that’s how I viewed these types of episodes until ChatGPT and friends came along. Now, I idly wonder whether it would be possible for a large language model to gaslight large numbers of people into worshiping it. Especially if they ever succeed with projects like Musk’s Neuralink. Combine some top tier automation, a large language model, and a bunch of Neuralink chips, and you get Landru and “the body” from Return of the Archons. Or Vaal and the “feeders of Vaal” from The Apple.
For that matter, the original Star Trek wasn’t too keen on AI of any kind, even when it wasn’t gaslighting oodles of yokels into calling it God. For instance, there was Nomad from the episode The Changeling. That was another computer Kirk talked to death, just like he did with Landru in Return. And let’s not forget M5 from The Ultimate Computer.
As Trek fans have been doing for the last 6 decades, someone thought up an in-universe theory to explain the original show’s take on AI. I believe the person’s name was J.P. Hailey. They used to hang out on alt.startrek.creative and possibly other Trek-related Usenet groups back in the 90s or so. Essentially, the theory was that humanity went through some sort of an AI crisis back in the early-mid 21st century. We came out of it on the other side. Because of course we did; Trek fans are nothing if not humanists and incurable optimists: optimistic in the face of all evidence to the contrary. Anyhow, that crisis, whatever it was, left humanity with a deep distrust of, and enmity toward, artificial intelligence. A similar theory showed up in one of the original Trek novels, Memory Prime. So Maybe Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens deserve more credit for that theory. Who knows.
Doomsday AI scenarios have been a staple of science fiction fandom for a long fucking time. They even made it into popular culture with the Terminator series and so forth.
But what I find really compelling is this notion that an LLM, top tier automation, and Neuralink could be used to create a planet of machine-worshiping yokels like the ones on Beta III in Return of the Archons. It would be especially easy to sell in the face of an impending apocalypse.
“Joy to you friend, peace and contentment will fill you. You will know the peace of Landru.”
The original Trek wasn’t too keen on genetic engineering either. In universe, that was due to the Eugenics Wars. Science tried to engineer the superior human, and what they got was humans with superior sociopathy.
Here, the out-of-universe explanations are more fascinating. Gene Roddenberry was a humanist. Not a post-humanist or a transhumanist or a singularitarian or whatever that crop of motherfuckers is calling itself this week. In an interview, he used a phrase along the lines of: “Humanity is wonderful; half animal, half god.” The idea of the post-human was around when Roddenberry was. It was around when he was in his prime. He rejected it, and so do I.
Ok, I have had some really strange dreams. I’ll tell you about two that I’ve had recently. The second one was this very afternoon.
I’ve always had these really oddball dreams about school or being back in school. In yesterday’s edition, it was the very first of the school year, so I was receiving and unboxing my braille textbooks. I was eight years old or so. Some of the boxes contained complete and correct textbooks. At least one box was completely empty. Another contained a single volume, in Spanish. Realize that braille textbooks usually require many volumes. Like, a 20-plus volume mathematics textbook is by no means unheard of. The 1959 World Book Encyclopedia is some 144 volumes of braille. Big, thick, hard-backed volumes which could serve as effective bludgeons. So I’ve got this box with one volume of a multi-volume text, and I’m like, “At least it’s in a language I can speak and understand.” Though how eight-year-old me knew Spanish is beyond me; I did read and speak it in high school, though no earlier. It’s a dream, for fuck’s sake; I should stop trying to examine it so rationally.
By this point I’m really sad and disappointed. On the verge of crying and having an emotional meltdown, because I don’t know how I’m going to survive this school year without proper textbooks.
A teacher takes me aside and says, “This is what happens when they fuck up your working government.”
This afternoon, I dreamed that the Catholic Church canonized a living donkey as a saint. His name is Santísimo, which will be important later.
Anyhow, there’s this event that supposedly takes place in certain parts of Mexico called a donkey show. If you haven’t heard of it, spectators essentially pay to watch a woman be fucked by a donkey. The donkey show is said to be an urban legend. I read on some website that it was a myth conjured up by gringos to paint Mexicans in a bad light. I can believe that, given everything I know about the sad history of these kinds of ethnic myths. I knew a guy who told me that he actually saw a donkey show, but after researching this subject,, I’m extremely willing to believe that he was pulling my leg. Regardless of whether or not the donkey show exists in reality, it did in my dream.
The Pope made a proclamation. “If you want remittance of sins, you can get it by starring in a donkey show with Santísimo.” Furthermore, your name will be recorded on a blockchain. For the non-geeks out there, that’s basically an append-only ledger. Cryptocurrencies are also typically built on blockchains. Speaking of cryptocurrency, you don’t just get forgiveness, you also get some free cryptocurrency! Contrary to what the Bible claimed, you really can serve both God and mammon!
A few hours after I woke, I did a web search for Santísimo. Apparently, in Spanish, it can be an adjective or a noun. When used as an adjective, it means “most holy”, and when used as a noun, it means “holy sacrament.” It is used to refer to Christ in the Eucharist.
Remember Mike Pence, the VP during the first Trump administration? That guy MAGA wanted to hang? Yeah, that guy.
Sometime before 2021, I dreamed that Mike Pence and I had a threesome with a chicken. An actual I-shit-you-not chicken: the kind that goes bok-bok-bok. We rubbed ourselves against this creature, having a race to see who finished fastest. I awoke traumatized.
Someone could write a decent sci-fi novel about this reinterpretation of a timeless classic that came from one of my twisted dreams. This dream was also from the 2018-2020 period.
The guy they called the “Wizard of Oz” was this dude with some advanced degrees in quantum physics. For some reason – my dream didn’t bother explaining this to me – he took up a life of crime. While on the run from the law, our villain develops a device that will allow him to shift to an alternate reality. He uses it, and he shifts into the land of Oz. He goes to the Emerald City and sets himself up as a petty dictator, lording it over the little munchkins and whoever else he wants to lord it over. The guy was probably channeling his inner Trump when he had munchkin slave labor construct the “yellow brick road” out of golden bricks.
Then Dorothy shows up after the cyclone that sent her to Oz. She does her whole quest thing to find the Emerald City, just like in the book. She has no idea how bad things are there.
She seeks and is granted an audience with the “wizard”, wherein she relates her whole sad story. Instead of giving her silver slippers or whatever, the “wizard” forces himself on her. She develops a deep and abiding hatred for him and begins to plot his destruction. At this point of the dream, the storyline becomes unclear. Dorothy designs some kind of bomb that, when thrown at a target, will send him back to his own reality. Maybe Mr. “Wizard” brought along all of his physics texts and a copy of his doctoral dissertation. Who knows. In any case, Dorothy is just as smart as he is and probably smarter.
She builds her bomb, and after setting it to go off and lobbing it at him, he disappears and returns to our reality. At this point, law enforcement catches up with him and he is punished for his crimes.
My dream never told me what happened to Dorothy, other than that she lived happily ever after.
There’s speculation that Musk and Putin have some dirt on Trump. Especially Musk.
So I was thinking about it this morning, and I came up with the most fabulous seed (pardon the pun) for a novel.
Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump have this daddy and little girl kink going. Donny even insists that Daddy Vladdy call him Ivanka.
Of course, Trump is stupid enough to do some of this in Twitter DMs. Because of course this mother fucker is nothing if not stupid, am I right?
Putin is an actual autocrat, with a strong grip on power and control of a large nuclear arsenal. He probably gives zero or negative fucks about what the world thinks of him.
Trump, on the other hand, wishes he could be like Putin. He’s not there yet and hopefully never will be.
The other thing about Trump is that he is a narcissist. He deeply cares about what others think of him. This is why he has spent four or more decades cultivating the skill of media manipulation. He would care if his little secret became public knowledge.
If Trump gets out of line and doesn’t serve Musk or Putin, both of them have receipts. We know that Musk and Putin communicate regularly, and they’re probably on friendly terms. They might even tag-team their puppet.
“Oh Daddy Vladdy! Can your little girl Ivanka play with your big ICBM today?“, Trump slowly typed in a Twitter DM with one hand, as the other stroked his aging and gradually stiffening toadstool.
“Only if I can invade your territory like it was the Ukraine”, replied the thoroughly unaroused Russian despot, as he played along in order to accumulate more compromat and satisfy his beta’s kink.