There’s speculation that Musk and Putin have some dirt on Trump. Especially Musk.

So I was thinking about it this morning, and I came up with the most fabulous seed (pardon the pun) for a novel.

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump have this daddy and little girl kink going. Donny even insists that Daddy Vladdy call him Ivanka.

Of course, Trump is stupid enough to do some of this in Twitter DMs. Because of course this mother fucker is nothing if not stupid, am I right?

Putin is an actual autocrat, with a strong grip on power and control of a large nuclear arsenal. He probably gives zero or negative fucks about what the world thinks of him.

Trump, on the other hand, wishes he could be like Putin. He’s not there yet and hopefully never will be.

The other thing about Trump is that he is a narcissist. He deeply cares about what others think of him. This is why he has spent four or more decades cultivating the skill of media manipulation. He would care if his little secret became public knowledge.

If Trump gets out of line and doesn’t serve Musk or Putin, both of them have receipts. We know that Musk and Putin communicate regularly, and they’re probably on friendly terms. They might even tag-team their puppet.

“Oh Daddy Vladdy! Can your little girl Ivanka play with your big ICBM today?“, Trump slowly typed in a Twitter DM with one hand, as the other stroked his aging and gradually stiffening toadstool.

“Only if I can invade your territory like it was the Ukraine”, replied the thoroughly unaroused Russian despot, as he played along in order to accumulate more compromat and satisfy his beta’s kink.